The One

Lee.

This is the name of a guy that I will be in love with for the rest of my days. He will always have a part of my heart. However I will never be with him.

I met Lee about 5 years ago when I went away to school. I hooked him up with my best friend. They dated for about a month. However during this month Lee and I became closer than her and him. He talked to me more. He had more in common with me. Well I take that back we have similar traits but we come from 2 different worlds. But we had a special connection. We just know how to talk with each other. During the month of their courtship we would just talk and I DID NOT have feelings for him at this time. Other than me thinking he was just an awesome person. He would call our dorm room and talk to me for like 20 minutes then finally I would ask him if he wanted to talk to her and he would for like 5 minutes. We would just hang out just the 2 of us and have hours long of conversations. But I must say again at this time I DID NOT have feelings for him. And also my best friend knew I didn't she just realized like Lee and I did that we had a connection we just knew how to talk to each other. There is really no other way to say it.

Well they eventually ended their relationship on amicable terms. And we all remained good friends. Well over time I developed feelings for Lee. He knew I was starting to have feelings for him but he did not treat me any different. I knew I was not the type of girl he was interested in and I understood that so I did not press anything. I respected him so much more because he did not change the way he acted towards me. I wasn't dramatic about it. I knew I wasn't his type and I accepted it. I would rather have him in my life as a friend than not have him in my life at all. We are two different type of people we do have a lot of the same qualities however we see life in two different ways. Also our way of living I think are different as well. We grew up in two different worlds so I think if there were to ever be anything those differences are too big that it would destroy the relationship we have. However over time my feelings became stronger. And I do believe those feelings have turned to Love. I have never been in love but I think this is it. No scratch that I am in Love with Lee.

The bittersweet things is that we will never be together. He doesn't see me in that way. And by now I know this and I am ok with it. I know he will be in my life forever. There will not be a time in my life that I will not have talked to him at least once a week. He will always be there for me. Do not get me wrong there are times when I am sad. I get upset that we will never be. But deep down I have hope. Even though my brain knows that we will probably (see that's me hoping) never be together. My heart is filled with hope. My heart is full of the hope that one day Lee and I will be one. That he will be My Lee. I know this sounds so weird but it is how I feel. I know in my head that things will never be but my heart doesn't stop me from hoping.

He is such and awesome person. He is sweet and kind and respectful. He makes me laugh so much. I love his corny humor. I can talk to him about anything. When I feel bad I know he is the one person I can call and feel better within 5 minutes of talking to him. He is the one I reach out to when I am sad or angry or just down. When I hear a funny joke or I have done something funny he is the one I think of to call to tell him about it. He is so handsome. He has the most beautiful smile. I love his "Lee" smirk. I love his curly blonde hair. He has beautiful lips. He is just so Lee. I love his big bear hugs. He makes me feel so safe when I am around him. He can make me see the brighter side of things. He has opened me up to different things in this world. I have so many new experiences that no one else could have given me. He is just the man that I Love and will always Love.

Well until next time, Adios!

Live. Laugh. Love.